A Heart Unknown
by OneLife271
Summary: Shuichi has left Yuki and Japan. After 3 years he comes home. Have his wounds been healed? Warning, I may change the rating later on.
1. Prologue

Prologue:

Prologue:

**Disclaimer: Maki Murakami owns these boys. I do not. I just think I'll borrow them and have my way with them.**

General POV

Shuichi and Yuki sat in their apartment. Yuki sat on the couch smoking a cigarette and drinking his favorite beer. Watching the smoke dance in the air, accented by the setting sun's light. Shuichi, however, sat in the bedroom. The big oak bed that supported his small body shone in the light that radiated from the window. Staring at the wall, Shuichi relived his memories that brought him to now. All you could hear in the apartment were the sobs of a heart-broken singer.

Shuichi had tried to help Yuki, since he was working so hard on his latest novel, by cleaning the apartment and making him dinner. Shuichi began by cleaning the living room. He tried to dust but because it was so dusty, he sneezed so hard he fell over and knocked over the table. The beautiful pink and yellow carnations he put there to cheer Yuki up went flying and crashed. The crystal antique vase that contained the beautiful memories of his mother shattered. All that remained were the pieces of carved, smoky crystal. With a sigh, he cleaned up the mess knowing that Yuki was going to let him have it later when he found out.

He then decided to take a chance at cleaning the bathroom. All was going well. The bath tub was scrubbed to a sparkling white, the sink was cleaned, the towels were replaced by clean ones, and the floor was mopped. He gazed at the sparkling bathroom and smiled in satisfaction.

Dinner was next on his list. He wanted to make something special for Yuki. He wanted to show him how much he loves and appreciates everything about Yuki. He decided that teriyaki would be a good idea. He got some chicken and vegetables out of the refrigerator. He started the rice and began looking for the cutting board. He opened the cabinet and began to grab the board. Next thing he knew he was on the floor with pans all around him clanging. Quickly grabbing everything and shoving it back from where it all fell, he shut the cabinet and began looking for a knife. Much to his pleasure, the knives didn't try to fall on him too. Excited to make his Yuki smile, he began cutting. His excitement grew as he thought about how Yuki would smile and thank him for being such a good boyfriend to him. While his mind wandered, so did the knife. He cut his knuckles and began to scream and cry. The blood began to pour out of him like milk from a carton.

Yuki came running out of his study and saw the kitchen floor and Shuichi covered in blood.

After cleaning Shuichi, the floor, and himself of all the blood, Yuki sat down and bandaged his baka.

"Shuichi, what happened? I heard all the noise." Yuki asked in a cold voice.

"I…I….I wanted to make you happy. sniff I wanted to make you dinner."

"Baka. I never asked you to make anything for me. I never wanted you to either. You are way to klutzy and too irresponsible to even think about going into the kitchen unsupervised!"

"I just wanted to make you happy. You've been working so hard."

"Silence makes me happy." Looking around, "Where's my mother vase?"

"Uh, well, when I was cleaning the living room, I sneezed."

"And?"

Sheepishly, "Well, I bumped the table and it sorta fell over…. and broke."

"WHAT?!"

"I cleaned up it!"

"So that's why the rug is wet…" with a heavy sigh escaping his lips. Looking at the partially wet red and black rug, he noticed the rug was moved.

"Shuichi, did anything happen to the rug?"

"Eep…..yes."

Yuki got up to move the rug. His anger erupted.

"My floor!" Staring at the gashes in the mahogany floor, he became enraged.

"You can't do anything right! You are loud, obnoxious, needy, and a walking tornado!"

"I am not! I can be quiet!"

"No you can't. I have yet to hear any actual silence from you!

"What's that supposed to mean? I can be quiet and more!"

Yuki's hand went to Shuichi's cheek.

SLAP!!

"But Yuki, I…"

"NO! I can't believe you think you can do anything! You are only good for singing and screwing. Nothing more!"

Shuichi sat stunned. He never thought Yuki could think that about him, let alone hit him. Bawling, Shuichi ran to the bedroom and slammed the door.

Yuki grabbed a beer and lit a cigarette.

Shuichi decided that enough was enough. Too long he was hurt, insulted, and cast aside. He's done. He's leaving Yuki….for good.  
--

**So there you have it. This is my first stab at making a fic. So please R&R. Let me know if I should continue or just scrap it and never pick up a pencil again. OneLife271**


	2. 3 Years Later

Chap 1 "3 Years Later"

Chap 1 "3 Years Later"

**Disclaimer: Maki Murakami was kind enough to create the characters. They belong to her, not me. Alas, I'm not that awesome to have created these wonderful characters. I'll just borrow them and bend them to my will. And bend they will!**

I plan on being nice and giving this story POV headings, just to avoid confusion. _Italics means location and situation descriptions._

Shuichi's POV

_The engines whirred and the clouds flew by as the onyx haired singer watched. Shuichi was returning to Tokyo._

Three years. I can't believe three years has gone by. My travels have been so amazing. From the USA to Sweden to Norway and Africa.

"_Would you like something to dink, sir?" The flight attendant in her blue suit asked the young star._

"_No thanks." Watching her walk away to ask the next person, he remembered the first day he actually cross dressed for that blonde bastard. The blue skirt and white shirt._

Maybe the sunflower on my head was a bit much. Wait, why am I thinking of that? That was over 3 years ago. I'm too tense, I need to relax.

_Shuichi got up and went to the airplane's bathroom. After about 10 minutes, he returned to his seat._

Can I go back? Can I really go back home? Then again, I don't really have a home. Since Hiro died in that horrible motorcycle accident and Ryuichi disappeared suddenly, I don't really have any friends in Tokyo. But there's always…..Yuki. No! I won't be his little useless whore! Never again. No more hurt. I'm happy now.

_Looking over to the seat next to him, he gazed at his beloved. Long blood red hair. Entrancing pale blue eyes._

If it wasn't for Mina, I never would have been able to live. I never would have sung again.

_He leaned over and kissed her sleeping forehead. "Mmm, Shu," she whispered._

_He laid his head back letting his relaxation take over._

Yuki's POV

I don't know if I'm happy or angry that Touma told me about Shuichi. I mean now that I've finally gotten over the fact that it was my fault he left. If I hadn't been so cold, so hurtful, he would be the one lying beside me.

_A slender arm lay across his chest. The delicate hand caressing him, holding on as if he wouldn't be there in the morning. _

How did it come to this?

Ayaka….she came to me in my hour of need. I thought that she was gone. I thought I was stronger than that. I was wrong, and lonely.

Will he want to see me? I miss him so much. I miss his beautiful eyes, he's pink hair, his joyful laugh. I….I….I still love him.

_Gazing over at Ayaka. Yuki brushed a bit of hair from her face._

You will never replace my Shu. You will never be my Shu. I'm sorry.

_Getting out of bed, Yuki walked to the window. Looking at the moon, we replayed that fateful day in his mind over and over. The pale moon light washed over him._

I think I finally have a chance to make things right. I hope he doesn't hate me.

--

**Ok, Chapter 1. There ya go. Please R&R. I'm anxious to hear from you all.**


	3. A Morning to Remember

Chapter 2: A morning to remember

Chapter 2: A morning to remember

Disclaimer: Not mine, won't be. I can dream, can't I?

Ayaka POV

For two years my life has been wonderful. I finally got to have Yuki. He loves me, just as I've always wanted. Life wasn't the same for so long. After Yuki shunned me for that boy, I was picked up and whisked away by Hiro. Hiro, I miss you so much. But you could never be my Yuki. I did cry for you. I do miss you. But now my Yuki has finally come to where he belongs. My arms. How can I let my dream go?

_Watching Yuki walk to the bedroom window, Ayaka sighs._

Since hearing about that boy coming back, Yuki's been in a trance. I know he's thinking of him again. Why? Am I not good enough? Well, one thing I have on my side is the emotions. I was there to pick up the pieces. I came to his rescue when Shindo-san walked out on my angel. Never again will I let that boy have Yuki. He's come so far.

_The next morning, Ayaka sat at the table. Taking a drink of her coffee, she watched as Yuki prepared breakfast. The scent of eggs and sausage filled the air._

Yuki is the one person I have always dreamed of. His blonde hair and golden eyes will be perfect for my children. His eyes. I remember when his eyes used to pierce the very soul. Now they are becoming dull, like the day I came back to him.

_Flashback_

_Walking in the park over looking Tokyo, Ayaka basked in the warm morning sunlight. The dew still caressing the trees and grass. Passing by a man. A man she knew from years before. Yuki. He looked lifeless. His cheeks stained with the tears of the night before. His eyes red and sleepless._

"_Yuki?"_

_No response. She walks over to get a closer look at him. He reeked of alcohol. Sitting down beside him she touched his arm. The cold rushed into her fingers. Startled by her touch, Yuki jumped and shot a lifeless look at her._

"_Ay….Ayaka?"_

"_Yes."_

"_What are you doing here?"_

"_Going for a walk. Have you been here all night?"_

"_All night? What...what time is it?"_

_Looking at her watch, "About 7am."_

"_Oh."_

_Beginning to stare off again, his tears returned._

_Stunned, Ayaka could only sit there. She'd never seen him cry before. Wiping away the tears with her thumb, she began to hug him._

"_What happened?_

"_I….Shu….he….he's gone."_

"_Gone? Gone where?"_

"_Away from me. I drove him away."_

_Wrapping his arms around Ayaka, he cried harder._

"_Come on, let's get you out of here."_

_Walking away from the park that began the best part of his life and the worst part, he began his downfall._

Shuichi POV

Tokyo has never looked so beautiful. The cherry blossoms are just as beautiful as the day I left. What will Mina think? It was so dark when we got here she didn't get to see the beautiful trees. But, with all this beauty, why do I feel so dark?

_The image of a tall, golden haired and matching eyed man flashed into his mind._

Yuki. No! Not after everything he's done to me. The painful nights, the anguish he put me through. I can't let him get to me anymore. I may be home, but I've moved on. Mina is my love now. But I do miss his warm body. His strong chest and entrancing voice. I still see his eyes, looking at me hungrily just before he takes me and makes me his own over and over again. I miss the smell of his cigarettes. STOP! What am I doing? Why should I miss him? I was just a hole to him. A useless whore, as he put it.

_Looking over to the bed, he remembered how he felt the day they met. Walking to the hotel bed they shared, he nudged the sleeping princess of his heart. The tan floral comforter stirred._

"_Come on sweet heart, time to get up."_

_Stirring, Mina began opening her eyes. The bright sun made her close them again to get adjusted._

"_You are so beautiful. I love you."_

_He kissed her lips gently and took in her sweet taste._

"_Shu, What are we doing up so early?"_

"_Simple, we're going site seeing. I want to show you where I grew up."_

_Ok, ok. Let me get a shower and dressed."_

_Crawling out of bed, Mina stretched. With her arms stretched over her head, her shirt lifted and showed her sparkling bellybutton ring. _

My god, she is so beautiful. Her milky white skin looks so delicate and tasty.

_Shu couldn't resist his urge. Giggling and a gleam in his eye, he leapt and tackled Mina back on the bed. Her blood red hair flying as she landed._

"_Uuff, Shu?"_

"_Well, Tokyo isn't going anywhere. I think we can hold off for a bit, ne?"_

_He kissed her lips and began to undress her. Her moans filling the room._

Today is going to be a good day.

--

**You know, I'm really enjoying writing this story. But once again, I must instist that you R&R for lil ol me. **


	4. No No No

Chapter 3: No No No

Chapter 3: No No No

Disclaimer: I didn't create the characters. I'm just using them to amuse myself and others. One character is mine though, Mina. But I think all you fan girls/boys out there figured that out already.

Mina POV

My Shu, so full of life. Well, he was, until he came back to Tokyo. He tries to fool me, but he can't. His amethyst eyes have the same dullness as the day we met. It's like his soul is dying. His smiles are painted on while his laughs are becoming forced. Our love making now seems to become a simple carnal urge. What happened here? Whenever I ask him why he left Japan, he always gives me the same answer, 'A chance to live', and nothing more.

_Lying next to a sleeping Shuichi, Mina caressed his cheek._

What happened? I don't know, but I hope that one day you'll tell me.

General POV

Walking in the same park they met, Yuki and Ayaka were silent. The cherry blossoms were beginning to fall. Pink petals falling on the green grass. The sounds of children all around them. The sun shone brightly in the afternoon sky. Clouds, white and fluffy, scattered in the sky smiled down on the city.

Yuki lost in his thoughts and Ayaka simply enjoying the companionship. A familiar voice was heard. Yuki's head shot up and searched for the origin of the angelic sound.

Suddenly he saw the amethyst eyes he longed for. His eyes fixated on something, but what? Looking, Yuki saw a girl. Her blood red hair shining in the sun, her pink lips smiling and laughing with his Shu. His long, lost Shu.

Ayaka noticed Yuki's expression of shock. Following his eyes, she saw to her horror…the boy.

"How the? In all of Tokyo, as big as this city is, how did this happen?" Ayaka fumed.

Yuki began walking towards Shuichi. Ayaka grabbed for his arm. Turning furiously, he glared at her as if trying to burn her soul to ashes.

"Don't you dare stop me."

She let go of his white shirt and watched as tears filled her eyes.

'No, no, no! Not now!' she screamed to herself.

_Flashback_

"_Where are we?"_

_Looking around, Yuki didn't recognize the apartment Ayaka led him to. Oak floors and a pale blue rug laid under a cherry wood table. Her dark blue couch caught his eye. 'That's the same couch Shu and I have'. Ayaka walked Yuki over to the couch and sat him down._

"_We are at my apartment. I'll go make us some tea."_

"_Have any beer?"_

"_No, I think you've have drank enough for a while."_

"_I'll let you know when I've had enough", getting up, he walked into the kitchen and straight to the fridge. Fumbling around, he found a bottle of sake._

"_This'll do."_

"_What are you doing?"_

"_What does it look like? I'm getting a drink."_

"_No you're not." She grabbed for the bottle._

_Moving it quickly, "I don't think so."_

_Sighing in defeat, Ayaka walked back to the living room. Following her, with the bottle in hand, Yuki explained what transpired the evening before._

Ayaka POV

How can he just walk off and not care? NO! I won't let him do this to me again! I love him and he loves me! That boy, he came between us once, not again. I can't just let him come back into our lives and ruin all the hard work I put into Yuki. How? How can I stop this?

"_YUKI!!"_

_As she screamed, everyone in the park turned to look at them. The golden haired man walking faster and faster toward his goal. The onyx haired singer turned and stared in horror._

That should buy me some time.

Shuichi POV

This woman is so wonderful. Her eyes are shining like the sea, her hair gleaming in the sunlight, and her smile beaming.

"_So what do you want to do next? This walk has been so wonderful, I want to see more of Tokyo. I want to see more cherry blossom trees. I can't wait to see more of the city that brought you to me!" giggled a happy Mina._

"_Would you like to see where I used to work?"_

"_Yeah!"_

She is just so cute! I just want to…

"_YUKI!!"_

Wah?

_Shuichi turned to look in the direction of the scream._

No, no, NO! Not now! How….no…

--

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­**Another chapter for your enjoyment. Quite the writing streak, no? Ah well, you know the drill.**


	5. Memories of Pain

Chapter 4: Memories of Pain

Chapter 4: Memories of Pain

**Disclaimer: I weep because I can't call these boys mine. They belong to the great one.**

**Side note: I think I'm going to change this story to M. You'll see why.**

General POV

Yuki began to approach Shuichi. Wide eyed, Shuichi tried to back away.

"Shu-chan, you're back."

Stunned to hear Yuki's voice again, he became immobilized. His eyes glazed over as he remembered that voice when it would moan his name in pleasure. He recalled, as the pink petals fell around the golden ones he once thought to be his angel. A time those eyes shined for him. A time when they were happy.

Getting a grasp on the situation, Mina stepped between the love of her life and his assailant.

"I don't think Shu wants to speak with you."

"Out of my way, bitch," he growled pushing her aside.

"Yuki!" Ayaka ran up behind him and grabbed his arm.

"Ayaka?" a stunned Shuichi croaked out. "No, leave me alone!"

Shuichi began running as hard as he could. Mina saw that he was running and followed him leaving Yuki and Ayaka once again alone.

"Why is he running?"

"Maybe because of what you did to him," Ayaka sighed.

Finally catching Shuichi, Mina pinned him against a grey brick wall.

"What's going on? Tell me and don't give me that same old lame ass answer!"

"I…I…I need to relax," grabbing her small black purse, Shuichi ran to the public bathroom down the block.

Emerging ten minutes later, he handed her purse back and led her to a near by bus stop bench. He began crying as he told Mina about the night he left. As his story went on, she became more angry and worried. Her anger at the man who hurt her love; worried for her love who was being hurt again.

Shuichi POV

After all I went through with Taki and being raped and abused for that bastard, I couldn't take another hit. Especially from the one I love. After traveling around and ending up in America, I thought I found a place to start over. But I was wrong, so very wrong. All I found was another run in with people who have a hate like droopy eyes did.

The night it happened is still so clear in my mind. I was at this local club called Liquid. I sat there enjoying the music. I distinctly remember the song that was blaring out of the speakers, "Blow My Whistle". Ha, what a cleverly dumb innuendo. The lights were flashing blue, red, yellow, green, and purple. The strobe lights were beginning to hurt my eyes, which was no surprise since I'd been drinking my Captain Morgan and coke's all night. Thank God for fake IDs.

Walking out of the club into the cool summer night, I began to feel refreshed. The light breeze made me feel like I was given a new hope, a new chance at life. Walking down the street, a couple of guys wearing ripped jeans and black shirts turned the corner in front of me. Their red laces in their black combat boots really stuck out to me. Their shaved heads gleamed in the moon light as a weird feeling came over me. I turned down an alley to avoid them, but the pounding of their boots followed me.

Flashback

"Hey!"

Shuichi turned in fear, "Yes?"

"Aren't you that faggot that's so popular over in Japan?" asked the one with a long scar on his right cheek.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah, Dale. That's him. I'd know those prissy purple eyes anywhere," the other said with a sinister look in his pale blue eyes.

"I do not know what you are talking about."

Wincing at his obviously Japanese accent, he turned to walk away. The man named Dale grabbed his shoulder.

"where do you think you're going faggot? We're not done with you yet."

Fear began to envelope Shuichi as he saw the hate and danger in the eyes of his two assailants.  
"You're gonna die, bitch," chuckled the blue eyed man while exposing a shiny knife with a tiger painted on the blade.

"No, no! There is a misunderstanding!" Shuichi shrieked as he turned to flee.

The scared man quickly grabbed the boy's arm and swung him into the cream colored brick call. The air rushed out of his lungs as he dropped to his knees in from of Dale.

" Aw look, the little queer wants to suck me off."

Grabbing Shuichi's chin, he slapped his cheek.

"I don't think so, I'm not going to catch your gay."

Laughing, the other man sliced Shuichi's arm and as Shuichi shrieked in pain, the man jabbed the blade into the singer's stomach. The last thing Shuichi saw was the tiger, snarling at him dripping his blood. Everything went dark

**Well, there you go. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. Life's been a bit crazy on my end. Poor Shu! I hate to do it, but it's gotta be done! As always, r&r please!**

**- Onelife271**


	6. Update

I'm sorry for the long wait guys

I'm sorry for the long wait guys! I've been working on the next chapter, I promise!

Life's been hectic lately with the move happening and so on. I'm soooooo sorry for the long wait.

It's coming! I promise all of you.


	7. A Suprise

**Disclaimer: Gravitation doesn't belong to me. I'm just borrowing the characters for yours and my pleasures.**

**Chapter 5:**** A Surprise**

Flashback Cont.

Shuichi's eye opened in a blurry haze. He blinked as his eyes focused to the sun light beaming through the window. He heard voices, close to him but muffled. Turning his weary head, he saw a moderately large TV that was dark, yellow curtains that were pushed to the sides of the window. A single chair in the room next to the wooden closet,; or what he assumed was a closet. The door to the room was closed and he realized that is where the voices were coming from. A realization hit him and he stared at the lone chair in the strange room. There was a woman reclined in it. Her sleeping face put him in awe, but also shocked him. She reminded him of an angel.

"Who is she?" he whispered to himself.

Trying to sit up, he winced in pain as his stomach throbbed and his right arm felt a pinch. Glancing at his arm, he realized that he was hooked up to an IV.

"Ow," he softly let slip from his tired lips.

He regretted it when he noticed the beautiful woman began to stir from her rest.

In a surprised tone she exclaimed, "You're awake!"

Getting up out of the chair, she ran to the door and hurried in a nurse. They came back to Shuichi's bed and the nurse began to examine him. Her perfume reminded him of home in a way.

"Excuse me ma'am, but what perfume are you wearing?" he croaked out.

"Oh, it's called Japanese Cherry Blossom. It's my favorite scent," she said in a motherly tone and smiled at him.

"Sakura was always such a beautiful smell," he smiled back at the nurse.

The nurse wasn't quite sure what a "sakura" was, but she chalked it up to just waking up banter. After checking his blood pressure and temperature, she quietly left the room.

"My name is Mina. I'm so glad you're awake, Shuichi. You've been asleep for three days."

"How…How do you know my name?"

"Your wallet, silly!"

"Where am I?"

"You are in the finest hospital in the state."

"Ok, let's see. I've been in a hospital for three days. How exactly did I get here?"

"Well, an ambulance, duh, " she chuckled. I was walking past the alley where you were attacked. I saw those bastards stab you, so I ran over and tazed them. I screamed as some cops rolled by and those skinheads were arrested. They're being incarcerated as we speak. Assault with a deadly weapon with an intent to kill. I think that's what the lawyer said. After the media did a little research, they found out who your are. So on top of the other charges, they're also being charged along the lines of performing a hate crime. Anyways, so you were brought here and I stayed to keep an eye on you ever since."

"Why would you help a complete stranger?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I just felt that I had to be here, almost like a gravitational pull."

A knock on the door announced that the doctor came to evaluate Shuichi. Wheeling in a stool for him to sit on, he parked next to Shuichi's bed.

"Good morning. I'm glad to see you awake. We've been worried about you since you showed up. With your massive blood loss, we were afraid you would slip into a coma."

After asking a few mandatory questions, the doctor left the two to talk alone. They talked well into the night.

As time went on, the grew to care deeply for each other. The caring that they shared turned into love. They shared their deepest secrets. They felt that they found their soul mates.

But deep down, Shuichi still thought of the times when Yuki held him close. The times he was being protected by the golden man. He could never tell his mina that he still loved Yuki. So he pushed his feelings aside and tried to forget them, and him.

**General POV**

Lying in bed, Shuichi tossed and turned. His sleep eluded him. The thoughts of seeing Yuki clouded his mind.

Getting out of the bed he shared with Mina, he quietly got dressed and left the hotel. He didn't think of where he wanted to go, he let his feet guide him.

In a daze, he found himself at the graveyard where his best friend's soul lay at rest. Tears began to run down his cheeks. Falling to his knees, he cried for his lost friend.

Suddenly he felt arms wrap around his trembling shoulders. They hugged him so tightly, so lovingly.

The scent of flowers and incense filled his nose and the wind wrapped them in a comforting embrace.

Turning, Shuichi wrapped himself around the waist of the one bearing the loving embrace. He felt secure being held. The dark night embraced the entwined beings.

"I…I know this cologne."

Shuichi's amethyst eyes met the golden ones that gazed at him with so much emotion. He saw sympathy, concern, and most of all, love. Ina shock, he backed himself into Hiro's shrine knocking over the incense pot.

"What…are…you doing here," he squeaked between sobs.

"I was walking by when I saw you come in here. Something seemed off, so I decided to keep an eye on you."

"What gives you the right to 'keep am eye on me'? I don't need your protection! I gotta go!"

Shuichi scrambled to his feet and ran as fast as his legs could carry him. He ducked and weaved in and out of streets and allies. Eventually his legs gave out and he tumbled to the ground. He realized that he ran to the apartment he and Yuki once shared. To his horror, he crawled to his feet and walked further down the street. Sitting down in a darkened area, against a wooden fence, he pulled out a bottle. It clanked as it's contents shifted. Opening it, he shook out a white pill. Taking out his black leather wallet, he removed his driver's license and a credit card. He began to crush the little pill between them and began to form a line with the powder. Grabbing a yen bill, he rolled it into a tube and shakingly placed it in his nose. Lifting his credit card to his face, he began to inhale the powder.

"BAKA!!"

Yuki knocked the credit card out of Shuichi's hand and ripped the make shift tube from the boy's nose.

"What do you think you're doing? That was mine! I need to relax!" an exasperated Shuichi screamed.

Yuki grabbed for the singer's shoulders.

_BAM_

_Yuki's nose began to bleed. In the surprise of the attack, he released his grasp._

"_Stay away from me," the boy huffed as he began to stalk away._

_Lurching for the amethyst eyes singer, Yuki pinned him to the ground with a hand and both of his legs. Searching Shuichi with his free arm, he found the bottle._

"_Shu, no…no…why?" he asked with a sullen voice._

"_Give those back! I need those! Shuichi cried as he struggles in the older, stronger man's grasp._

_Feeling the struggle from the detained boy lessen, Yuki let go of him. Shuichi's breathing became slowed and rythmatic. His body came to a rest._

"_He…he fell asleep…"_

_Lifting the small body from the ground, he began to walk from the dark street. His golden eyes began to water, his heart began to break again._


	8. A Rude Awakening

_Yuki walked down the street with the passed out boy in his arms and warranted a few strange looks from passers-by. He eventually arrived at a local hotel. He quickly paid for a room and asked not to be disturbed._

_After a couple hours, the young singer began to stir. He woke up to the local news channel on the TV and Yuki watching him._

"Where the hell am I?"

_Yuki looked at him sadly and replied, _"You're at a hotel. Now, back to what we were talking about before you rudely passed out. What are you doing with those damn pills?"

_Startled, Shuichi jumped out of bed and began searching the room for his relaxation. He realized that he was running around without his shirt or pants. He instantly stopped caring and continued searching for his bottle._

"Don't' bother," _Yuki sighed,_ "I flushed the pills." _He tossed the empty bottle to Shuichi._

_Furious, the black haired musician grabbed the bottle and threw it at his captor. He began to scream and choke on his own anger and frustration._

"What gives you the right to flush those? They're MINE! And what am I doing here? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

_His mind wandering back to his cold legs and back, _"And where are my clothes you sick bastard? Did you have fun while I was unconscious?" _He growled at Yuki._

"I didn't do anything to you, I took your shirt and pants and had them washed for you. Now, answer my question."

_Looking at the new age, colorfully spotted chair next to the mahogany round end table, he found his shirt and pants folded neatly on the arm rest. Shuichi quickly grabbed them and ran to the bathroom. Locking the door behind himself, he slumped against the door and cried._

How could he? How could he come back into my life again and try to take over? He had no right to flush those pills. I need them. I need them so much. I don't want to feel like this, I don't want to feel at all. I need them.

_Finding the strength to stand back up, he walked over to the sink and stared at his reflection. With a sullen sigh, the singer hung his head and tried to piece out the situation, but to no avail._

_Yuki began pacing in front of the bathroom door and smoked his favorite cigarettes. He finally, after half an hour, decided to sit on the king sized hotel bed. Walking to it, he was jolted to a stop._

_CRASH!!!!_

_TINK TINK TINK TINK!!!!_

_­­­_

Well, I'm sooooooo sorry for the horribly long wait. I really do apologize. I plan on writing more and at least finishing this story. Please R&R.


	9. Yuki's Fears

**Yuki's Fears**

Disclaimer: Not my characters, well, except for one. I'm just borrowing them for super secret experiments and a story. Enjoy!

Shuichi/Yuki POV

Yuki came crashing through the locked bathroom door. Horrified at the scene, Yuki dove straight for the pile of black hair, pale skin, and deep red blood that was laid out on the floor. Grabbing Shuichi, Yuki noticed the shattered mirror. In a deeper panic, the golden hero frantically searched for wounds on his gentle, perfect singer. He laid the boy in the bath tub and ran warm water to remove the extra blood so he could find the injuries. The clean water that fell upon the unconscious singer became stained with the anguish, pain, and tragedy that is the singer's blood.

"Shuichi…..baka. What did you do?"

Running his strong hand over the slender, cooling body of his former lover, the golden eyed novelist held the singer's body to his own.

Looking at the delicate skin on Shuichi's shoulders he scanned down his arms. A pit formed in Yuki's stomach. He saw the bloody wrists of the boy. He pulled the dark haired boy from the bathroom and took him into the kitchen. Frantically, Yuki searched the hotel room for a phone and linens. He remembered the cell phone in his pocket and dialed the emergency room. With the cell phone on speaker mode, he continued to gather the towels and sheets to stop the flow of blood from Shuichi's wrists.

"Dear god, Shuichi, don't die. Live baka! Don't leave me again!"

When the hospital answered the call, Yuki gave them the address and room number and told them that it was a matter of life and death. The lady on the other end told him that it would take time. Yuki became furious. In a calm, deep voice, he explained who he was and who the patient is. Fearing the publicity and loss of her job, she sent an emergency announcement to all local ambulances and hospitals.

Five minutes later, a full ambulance team, police, and the local news channels were at the hotel.

While waiting for the medical squad to show up, Yuki had wrapped the wounds and applied pressure.

"Shu….ichi…..why?"

As Shuichi's body was put into the ambulance, Yuki opted to ride along. He couldn't leave his heart bearer alone in his time of need….. again.

"Baka!"

**~~~ I know it's been quite a while everyone. But I have a renewed passion and ideas. As always, please R&R 3 OneLife271**


	10. A White Room Full of Darkness

**A White Room Full of Darkness**

Disclaimer: Still not my characters, but loved like they are my own.

Shuichi POV

The early morning sunlight entered the overly white hospital room. It was almost blindingly white. The only sense of color were the used bandaged covered in brown, dried blood and the occupants.

Shuichi slowly opened his eyes despite they burned. He lifted his slender arm to shade his eyes from the trespassing rays only to find that he could move. Attempting to raise his arms again, they didn't move. Slowly, he rolled his head to his right side and saw the restraints that were put on him. The dark brown leather harness hurt his wrists, even though there is soft padding lining each cuff. Shuichi rolled his head to the left and examined the other cuff that restrained him. Underneath the cuff, he noticed bandages.

"Bandages…. Guess that went terribly wrong."

"There was a way to go right?"

Shocked into the rest of reality, Shuichi followed the voice till his amethyst eyes locked with the golden eyes watching him.

"You…. YOU! GET OUT!"

"Shu, listen to me."

"No, now leave."

"I'm not leaving you, not like this, not again."

"If I remember correctly, Yuki, I left."

"Yes, well, that doesn't matter. My point is; I won't ever let you go again."

Shuichi turned his head away from Yuki, holding back tears. The tears of frustration, pain, years old emotional scars, and more recent physical ones. A creek from the door alerted the two former lovers that they have company. Shuichi's eyes brightened as he saw his Mina.

"Oh, Shu! I came as soon as I got the call from the hospital. I didn't know that you have me as your emergency contact."

"I've been watching over him. I have this all taken care of."

"Yuki, right? Well, thanks for keeping an eye on him, but now I'm here and will continue his care."

"Mina's right, I'll be fine. Please leave."

With a heavy sigh, he knew that Shuichi wanted Mina around instead of him. Yuki rose from his seat and left the hospital.

Yuki POV

Yuki sat in his expensive, black BMW, he cried. He cried ever tear from three years ago to now.

"Why won't he give me a chance to explain? I….I….I don't know. I still love him with all my heart, but he seems to despise me. What do I do?"

Starting the engine, the renowned novelist began driving a familiar path, to the one relief he has, alcohol.

Shuichi POV

Watching Yuki leave, Shuichi felt compelled to run to him, hold his former lover. All he could do is feel himself cry.

"Shu, what's wrong? How did you end up here?"

"Well, simply put, I tried to die."


	11. A Dicision Has Been Made

**Disclaimer: Not My boys, but hey, they're fun to play with!**

Shuicihi explained what transpired between Yuki and him. Mina's heart began to break and she couldn't help but wonder why.

_Shu, do you still have any love in your heart for him?_

The vocalist was shocked by her question. _I….I…..yes. I do still care for him. I still love him._

Mina's heart broke at his piercing words. She also knew that she was just a means to an end; an end that was not what her Shu was destined for.

_I'm breaking up with you._ Mina smiled softly.

_Wait, what? Why? I…Mina….No!_

_Shu, my heart, you do not truly belong to me. If you did, you'd have said that you didn't love him at all and would mean every word of it. I saw the pain in your eyes as he walked out and, well, I have always done what is best for my heart. So, I'm leaving you. You belong to him and he to you._

With a smile, Shuichi knew that Mina cared so much for him, loved him so deeply, that she would rather he be with Yuki than with her. They sat in silence and thought. Quiet meditation on the next part of their journey.

Mina went to have a discussion with the doctors and left Shuichi to ponder his future and choices.

_Well, here I am. I need to relax. I need my relaxation. Well, maybe I can fake some pain and get a prescription. Yuki can't yell at me then!_

Stunned at the realization of what Yuki would think, the singer decided to move forward.

_Yuki really has changed. He hasn't been mean to me at all, although he did yell at me. Ugh, what do I do?_

The memories of their past flooded back and made him smile. The ambition Yuki gave him to sell a million records, the date, the love they made to each other, and the sweet kisses. He smiled and let his heart decide. The pain was fading, but the caution was still there.

_Maybe coffee. Yeah, coffee. We will sit and enjoy coffee….ok he will enjoy coffee and I will have a nice soda. We can talk things over and I will decide from there._

Mina walked back into the hospital room followed by a doctor and a nurse. The hospital staff ran through the discharge paperwork and allowed Shuichi's arms free and sent him home in Mina's care.

_Ok, how did you avoid them sending me to the psyche ward?_

_Simple, I wrote down that I am your wife and that I can care for you until you can make an appointment with the psychiatrist._

Mina slipped a bottle of his relaxation into his hand. And smiled a sweet smile.

_Mina, you are a god send. By the way, I made a decision on the Yuki situation._

_Yeah?_

_I decided that I will give him another shot, but a very small one. Take things very slow and work from there. What will you do?_

_Me? Well, I'm happy just making sure you are happy. And until I find my soul mate, I'm hanging out with you. Got it?_

Shuichi smiled, _Got it._

_Isn't that Yuki's car over there? _Mina pointed at the black BMW. _I wonder how he got the car here._

_He probably had it delivered. I'm going to run over there and invite him to coffee so we can talk._

Shuichi walked over to the car and opened the passenger door and sat down.

_Yuki, I've been thinking. Maybe I've been too hard on you without giving you…_

Shuichi's heart stopped.

In the driver's seat, Yuki sat. The blood ran from his head where the bullet went through. In his lap laid a blood splattered cd.

Shuichi's first cd.

The shocked star got out of the car and walked back to a waiting Mina.

_Well? Did he accept your invitation?_

Glassy eyed, he looked at her, _Mina, I think you need to take me to the psyche ward now._

**Well folks, that's it. I hope you enjoyed.**


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